Dear Ones, I am reposting this from 2013. It meant a lot to me then, and speaks to me now. It's good to go back and re-read your own words, those in your journals, or a blog post from a while back. At the end of this post is a comment from a lovely friend of mine. He's been a great encourager in my blogging endeavor. I'd like to repost this today in his honor, to my friend Ron Bartley, Don't give up on your dream!
I have a rosebush in my garden. It sits over by the little shed and is pretty much a non-producer, only two to four blooms a week. I am not the kind of gardener who likes to fuss with prima donna plants. Don't be asking me to fertilize or dead head you, because I am not interested. So the rosebush and I co-exist without much interaction. Which is a not at all unlike my relationships with high maintenance anything, plant's, people, or cars.
The other day, I got out my bright blue hand cart and moved the giant terracotta pot that houses her royal highness (said rosebush) to a location in my little herb garden under the pergola. Low and behold, two days later that bush was maxed out with blooms! It's so pretty. That pot has been sitting over at the corner of the little shed for the last two years and I did just one little tweak and there ya go, BLOOMS! ROSES ! Who knew ? Well, you knew I was going somewhere with all this, because you are perceptive that way and I am predictable if nothing else, so here comes my metaphor. Go get your coffee cup.
I don't know how you are, but I'd like to think I'm pretty transparent. Having been told this by a number of friends and family members over the years and not in a positive light I might add. They've said things like "You are transparent to a fault" "Your facial expressions are a dead giveaway"... you get my drift. So, I'm going to be upfront and transparent here and say that sometimes I can get "THE BLUE FUNK", (as a friend labeled this for me back in my Pennsylvania years). Not long ago, a series of built up disappointments in my world were causing me to frequent the Scott tissue box. It was time to revisit my magic formula for combating disappointment.
1). I have to release others from my expectations. A friend said to me recently that "EXPECTATION BREEDS RESENTMENT". When I presume my expectations on others, I'm headed for disaster. No one knows (unless I tell them) what I'm expecting, and what I'm expecting is MY thing, not necessarily their way of thinking at all. This kind of expectation is pretty self centered. It seems that SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO GO YOUR OWN WAY AND YOU HAVE TO GO IT ALONE. Maybe the ones who began your journey with you, won't be the ones who show up at all. JUST KEEP ON WALKING, PUSHING YOUR HAND CART AND ROSE BUSH.....
2). I heard Dr.Fuchsia Pickett speak when she was in her eighties. (Look her up, pretty cool Towandatude filled story) When asked, "How do you know what you are supposed to do in life? How do you get going when you're stuck?" her reply was to "GO BACK TO THE LAST PLACE YOU HEARD GODS VOICE AND START AGAIN".
We all have those moments where we cease to BLOOM and the BLUE FUNK overtakes us and it all goes downhill, (if you don't you're probably not meant to be reading this Blog) In these times of BLUE, I go out to the back porch, have a little quiet time and try to think, "What was my intention ? Where was I going with all this anyway? What did I know in my 'knower' (that place deep inside where I am true to myself) that I was setting out to do?" I go back to that first step on the journey to my goal and start again, with a little tweaking usually. I move that terracotta pot just a little one way or the other and there it is. My course is adjusted, my navigation is set and I start again...
Then, all at once the roses bloom and all it took was a little tweak. I smell the roses, put the hand cart away and walk on alone, without expectation of anyone but myself. And my intention to do things I know are true to myself and what I know in my "knower" to do. Doing those things with all the TOWANDATUDE I've got.
BE ENCOURAGED TO LIVE THE LIFE YOU KNOW YOU WERE MEANT TO LIVE AND ALWAYS BE TRUE TO YOURSELF. May you be filled with your very own TOWANDATUDE !
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Ron Bartley 2 years ago : There's a friend and " sister" that I am so grateful for. There have been enormous gaps between the times we see or talk to each other...but...she has always been what I view as a rock and a pillar for her family and friends. Karen writes a blog by the name "Towandatude.com". In it she writes about her family, friends, faith, ups, downs and lessons learned from it all. I try to read her blog with a certain amount of regularity..but..i found it had been a while since I had signed in to read it. Tonight as I was sitting at my dining room table, I decided it was time to stop in to her site. I was hit particularly hard by one entry from Oct 10, 2013 entitled " Sometimes you just have to adjust one little thing". To make a short summary of the entry..Karens message is that sometimes only making just one minor change in something can produce a massive result. In my life right now, there is a change coming. It may or may not be considered minor, but, I am praying that it'll be a change for the better. I am hoping that gone will be the days that I feel bad for myself because of my chronic illnesses ( heart disease, diabetes, gout, kidney stones and depression/anxiety). This change will bring on the chance to be able to live in an area where I will no longer be terrified to drive. Being I've been told I am not able to work, I'd like to be able to volunteer with food a food pantry and with other aspects of a church I hope to find that will take care of my spiritual needs while my doctors keep up with my physical ones! I hope this change will bring on a FULL life instead of the empty shell of a life that I have currently. Thank you Karen for your Blog. Even we men can grab life by the scruff of the neck and shout " TOWANDA!!!"